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An ultrasound will be done as soon as possible to confirm heart rate, placement, and dating of the pregnancy. The doctor or another medical provider will prescribe progesterone, given as a pill to be taken orally or vaginally or possibly by intramuscular injection. The treatment will usually continue through the first trimester of pregnancy.

The simple answer is yes! If done in time.

There is an effective process called abortion pill reversal* that can reverse the effects of the abortion pill and allow you to continue your pregnancy, but time is of the essence.

The abortion pill is the common name for a chemical abortion process that combines two medications. It is also referred to as medical abortion, self-managed abortion, or DIY abortion. After taking the first pill, some women regret their choice and want to reverse it. That's where abortion pill reversal comes in. 

Using the natural hormone progesterone, medical professionals have been able to save 64-68% of pregnancies through abortion pill reversal.

How do I start the abortion pill reversal process?

All women considering the abortion pill deserve to know about the side effects and risks of the abortion pill.

 Before taking the abortion pill, it is important to ask the right questions. This is a big decision, and you deserve to have all the information.

The abortion pill—also referred to as medical abortion, chemical abortion, or self-managed abortion—is usually used to reference the two-pill process that includes medications taken to terminate the pregnancy of a developing baby within the first 10 weeks. It is NOT the morning-after pill. 

The first pill is prescribed within the first seven to ten weeks of pregnancy and given at the office visit to block the effects of progesterone. Progesterone is an essential hormone which women naturally produce that provides vital nutrients needed for the developing baby to thrive. Without progesterone, pregnancies will fail. The second drug is taken at home 6-48 hours later and causes cramping and bleeding in order to empty the uterus and expel the baby. 

Over half of American abortions occur via the abortion pill. As these numbers continue to rise, we believe no woman should feel forced to finish a chemical abortion she regrets starting.

Once, I asked my mother how to make eggnog, and she showed me this recipe. After just one taste, folks will know this homemade holiday treat came from the kitchen, not from the store. —Pat Waymire, Yellow Springs, Ohio

Easy Homemade Cinnamon Ornaments

This is one of those kid craft ideas that really is as fun and easy as it seems! They do take a while to bake, so plan to make them one day and decorate them the next.

Or leave them plain! The pretty cinnamon color doesn’t really need embellishing…but if your kids are anything like mine they’ll be anxious to go to town with the glitter glue.

Cinnamon Ornament Supplies

You’ll need equal parts cinnamon and applesauce for these ornaments. I used about 1 and 1/4 cup of each and we made 18 ornaments using standard size cookie cutters. When you’re buying cinnamon, look for larger containers of the cheap generic brands – no need to pay more for the name brand. If you happen to live near a WINCO you can get cinnamon in bulk extremely inexpensively. Generic applesauce works great as well!

VIDEO

Here’s a quick video that shows the whole process, and written instructions follow:

Recipe source: McCormick

If you’re looking for a simple Christmas craft project, today’s idea is for you! This simple DIY centerpiece will look great on your holiday table, and would be a cute gift for a friend. Making it is a cinch: you cover the outside of an empty can with candy canes. You’ll use a rubber band to help hold the candy canes in place as well as a bit of hot glue to secure them. Add some ribbon once you’re done, then fill the can with pretty seasonal florals. Easy!

Supplies

This is what you’ll need to make a candy cane vase:

• Empty Can: I used a 29 oz can of tomato sauce that I opened with a safety can opener that doesn’t leave any sharp edges. If you don’t have a safety can opener, you may want to use a glass or plastic jar or vase instead of a can. Just make sure whatever vessel you choose to use is a bit shorter than a candy cane.
• Candy Canes: I used about 40 candy canes. I bought them in packages of 12 for $1 each at Walmart.
• Rubber Band: This helps hold the candy canes around the can so you don’t have to glue every single one.
• Hot Glue Gun: Even with a rubber band, the candy canes need some stabilizing, so you’ll want a glue gun,
• Ribbon: I used red ribbon that was wide enough to easily cover the rubber band.

Once you’ve created the candy cane “vase” you’ll fill it with flowers or greenery to complete your centerpiece. You could use fresh flowers if you wish; just try not to get water on the candy canes. (If water gets inside the wrappers the candy canes will get ruined.) I found it was easier to use faux greenery. I placed a couple small blocks of floral foam inside the can, then used Christmas floral picks from the craft store to fill in the centerpiece.

CONTINUED. . .. 

4. They apologize but don’t change their behavior.

Unsafe people are skilled manipulators when it comes to apologies. First, they may offer an insincere apology such as, “I’m sorry I did that, but you push my buttons.” They’ve turned the tables to make it your fault!

Also, unsafe people avoid working on their problems. It takes a lot of effort to heal or change, and it’s easier to point the finger at someone else.

Safe people offer genuine apologies, such as, “I am sorry I hurt you by being late. Will you forgive me?” Then they do their best not to let it happen again.

5. They are emotionally distant (you feel alone).

Unsafe people leave you feeling alone even when they are next to you. That’s because they are emotionally unavailable. Being in a relationship is existing together on certain emotional wavelengths. Research at Northwestern University and UC Berkley has shown that couples who experience dynamic convergence are more likely to succeed at marriage.

Unfortunately, I attended a funeral this week in my hometown for a good friend’s husband. Maribeth has been like a mother to me since my childhood. She’s almost 80 now, and her knowledge of navigating life’s challenging situations has been priceless. For example, she has given me advice about studying in college, navigating marriage, and helping care for aging parents. I remember asking her the hard questions when I was contemplating divorcing Shane, a narcissist. One afternoon, I asked her if she felt like John, her husband, would consistently protect her and not harm her.

“I have never had to watch my back with John,” Maribeth answered. “We may have issues, but he is safe for me.”

I began thinking about the differences between safe people and unsafe people. In the following paragraphs, I discuss the traits of people who are not safe for you to pursue a relationship with, whether a friend, colleague or partner. Of course, no one is perfect, but for the most part, these people cause harm and pose a threat to your emotional and sometimes physical well-being. Unfortunately, and understandably, many of these traits belong to narcissists.

1. You must watch your back with them.

With an unsafe person, you are constantly looking over your shoulder. Their mission is to do what it takes to get what they need. Narcissists demand their supply, which is often attention, admiration, sex, money, and control. They’ll fight, manipulate, and steal to get it. Many narcissists enjoy hurting people unless being protective serves them in some capacity.

Safe people are those who want the best for you. Often these are the people who make you a better person by just being around them. If you ask safe people for advice, they give guidance with love.

CONTINUE. . .

9. Try not to take a narcissist’s rejections personally.

When narcissists become insulting, rejecting, blaming, and disdainful, it is only natural for you to feel greatly offended and hurt. They want to bring you down, and their tactics sting. In those moments, it can be natural to ask: “Why are you doing this to me?” If the rejecting narcissist were totally honest, the answer would be: “Because that’s what I do. It’s my nature to demean. I need you to be less than me.”

Narcissists are not that honest nor are they that self-aware. Even when they are outrageously inappropriate, they are anchored in tight self-protective rationalizations about their superiority. And they genuinely believe everyone else is unenlightened. Their need to maintain a controlling edge guarantees they will find ways to reject you when clashes occur. In their minds, they decide what is right and what is wrong, and you stand no chance to convince them otherwise.

So when (not if, but when) they reject you, remember that you are merely a player on their stage. The script is already written, and you will lose. And even if you were never in the narcissist’s life, that person would still be rejecting. The fact that they cannot stop themselves indicates how they operate with irreversible internal patterns in place. They are trapped by their own addictive need to condescend. It’s not about you.

10. Plan in advance how you will manage your exchanges with the narcissist.

Clearly, the less contact you can have with a narcissist, the better. Narcissists are destined to be relationally deficient. But in the event that you must engage with them, anticipate in advance how you will conduct yourself.

CONTINUED. . . 

7. Make room psychologically for “jerk” behavior.

Think about the many times in your interactions with a narcissist you have thought: “This person is being such a jerk!” And you are probably correct! Narcissists can be impossibly boorish and condescending in their mannerisms with you. Their raw egotism and inflated entitlement makes them ridiculously difficult to reason with, and you know the trend will not end. It is hardwired into their DNA.

You can make matters worse when you say something to the effect: “I want you to examine yourself and stop being so absurd!” Not once will a narcissist say: “Good point.” Not once.

That being your truth, accept the reality of the narcissist’s “jerkiness.” This does not mean you condone it, nor does it preclude setting boundaries. But it does mean that you realize that alligators will always be alligators, and narcissists will always be narcissists.

8. Don’t plead for or expect apologies.

As a normal person, when you err or miscalculate, you are willing to set the record straight. Healthy people own their blunders and make restitution. They apologize and make matters right.

CONTINUED. . . .

4. Don’t expect narcissists to uphold their end of a true relationship.

The more exposure you have to narcissists, the more you realize they are not interested in relationships. Connection, affirmation, goodness, and helpfulness are not their concern. They may give brief impressions that they are interested in developing heart bonds with you, but time and experience proves they are simply users seeking narcissistic supply. In other words, to them you exist to give them what they want. And that is not an indicator of being relational.

To a narcissist, you are a transaction, a means to an end. As long as narcissists believe they can get what they want, they will maintain associations (note: associations, not relationships) with others. But once a person becomes bothersome or no longer useful, narcissists will reject you. At that point, they will either increase demanding pressures, or they will discard you in favor of someone they find more willing to feed their needs.

Know that this person can only be someone you share activities or conversations with, but not one who has any desire or capacity to relate at the heart level.

5. Don’t become pulled in by their power plays.

As you know individuals over a long period of time, differences and disagreements emerge. Not only is that not something to dread, it allows the participants to delve more deeply into ways to of showing understanding toward each other.

continued. . . .

So with that in mind, let’s look at ten rules (or watch Dr. C’s video) to guide your interactions with a narcissist:

1. Do not ascribe normalcy to the narcissist.

If you are a normal person seeking normal goals, hoping for normal relationship outcomes, it is only natural to want (or even expect) the other person to reciprocate. You can live with the simple philosophy, “I’ll scratch your back, and you scratch my back.” Normal people operate with the presumption that simple courtesy and decency are not that difficult, nor do they require strenuous effort.

Narcissists, however, are not normal, at least in their relationship goals. In short spurts they can appear friendly and cooperative, but it does not take long for their true colors to show. Wanting to stay in the control seat, they are manipulators looking for the next chance to get what they want from you. To them, you are part of their supply chain, and they expect you to defer and acquiesce. Reciprocity is not part of their game plan.

So drop the illusion that they will join you in your healthy pursuits. They are limited in their people skills, and any efforts from you to help them grow will turn into an opportunity for them to squash you.

When you are a healthy person relating with another healthy person, the rules of engagement are simple and straightforward:

• I’ll show you respect just as I know you will in reverse.
• I’ll listen to you, and I know you’ll do the same.
• You can help me, and I can help you.
• Let’s remember to be an encouraging presence to each other.
• I’ll tune into your feelings and respond accordingly, just as you will.
• When we disagree, we can still communicate in an agreeable fashion.
• As difficult circumstances arise, we will each have the other’s back.
• Making plans will be done with the other’s needs and preferences in mind.
• When we make mistakes or show insensitivity, we own it and adjust.
• We’ll make no attempts to one-up each other since we operate as equals.

We could add more to this list, but you get the idea. Healthy relationships are guided by conscientiousness and a willingness to create a mutually gratifying experience. It takes concentration, but with maturation, this form of engagement is possible and quite rewarding.

But with a narcissist. . .

Narcissists are neither healthy nor mature as they approach you in relationship. Keep in mind that these people are defined by the need for control. Specifically, this makes them prone to criticism, stubbornness, bullying, defensiveness, and arguing. They lack empathy, which means that affirmation from them is fleeting at best, and they do not anticipate how to blend with you because you are supposed to cater to them. They can be master manipulators, which means they carry a self-serving agenda, causing them to become exploitative and secretive. Attempts to manage conflict almost always end poorly, and you are blamed for the perpetual strain that exists.

Over time, the narcissist’s presence in your life can become toxic, bringing out the worst in you. Their mannerisms can prompt you to become argumentative, defensive, guarded, and tense. Your attempts to make the narcissist “see the light” will inevitably fall short since narcissists feel no need to listen, to accommodate you, or to blend with your unique inclinations.

Simply put, narcissists are not good candidates for long-term rewarding relationships…at all.

CONTINUED. . .

6. They will judge you readily.  They express disagreement while insinuating that you are not just wrong, but defective.

7. They can be quite uncomfortable around people who differ.  Rather than responding to different people with an open mind, they wish to be only with those who conform to their tastes or opinions.

8. They will blame others for their flaws or mistakes even when all evidence indicates otherwise. This is part of their need to be superior.

9. They strongly dislike to apologize, and when they do, it is shallow.  They cannot bear feeling subordinate.

Often times when we are dealing with a narcissist, it is hard understand the narcissist’s attitudes. They are extremely condescending.

Here are the 15 Condescending Attitudes That Indicate Disdain Toward You:

1. They make low attempts to connect with you. The implication is: “You’re not worth the effort.”

2. They can be overly sensitive in their emotional reactions to you.  This implies, “My feelings are the only feelings that matters.  You shouldn’t feel differently from me.”

3. They have little regard to your emotions.  Since they are so enamored with the ways they feel, it stands to reason that they make no effort to know how you feel.  Their self absorption results in very low empathy.

4. They will over-interpret your emotions to make it all about them.  They might ask: “Why are you doing this to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?”  This happens despite indications that your emotions are a separate matter.

CONTINUED. . . . 

4 Reasons Narcissists Can’t and Don’t Want to Change

3. Most narcissists won’t take suggestions or guidance.

Lee Hammock, a diagnosed narcissist, said in our interview on Surviving Narcissism this week: don’t (ever) give a narcissist advice. They don’t think they need it, and they might do the opposite of what you say just to spite you. Also, remember that narcissists believe they are perfect and that there’s no reason to change.

That’s unfortunate because sometimes suggestions can help others. Such as “Your car is making a funny noise. You might want to get it checked out.” That may be protecting the entire family. Choose your words carefully when approaching a narcissist with a suggestion to help them and those around them. Perhaps, “The kids heard your car ‘talk.’ I am not sure what that means. Can you listen to it and see?”

4. They get what they need from you, so why change?

Many narcissists say they won’t change or alter their behaviors. Why should they? They get the supply they need as things are right now. They receive attention, admiration, and approval for what they are doing. They can do whatever they wish, no matter the casualties along the way. Very few people stand up to a narcissist because no one wants to see the rage if they don’t get their way. It sounds like an excellent way to live if you are a narcissist. The world revolves around them.

Again, Hammock had a good point in his interview this week. He suggested that narcissists must hit rock bottom to seek help. When Hammock’s wife left him and took the kids, it was then and only then that he sought out therapy.

Narcissists can’t and don’t want to change. Below are four reasons why this is so.

1. Narcissists don’t listen or communicate.

Most narcissists listen for one reason: to respond with vitriol or “to get you back.” They like to react. Communication is one-sided. They are listening for holes in your story or insinuations that they are wrong or bad. They want to blow off some steam on you, and they’ll react to the most benign words to do it.

Other times, the narcissist won’t allow you to insert one word into the conversation. As a result, they are always right, and you are wrong. Your views, opinions, beliefs, and values don’t matter to them, no matter how much to stand by your principles.

Sometimes they give you the silent treatment as a way of telling you that you don’t matter. It isn’t easy to communicate when you are the only person speaking or asking questions. That isn’t a conversation but a monologue!

You can try a few suggestions to start a dialogue. First, ask them to listen to you for a short amount of time. Set a timer. Then they can respond. Or, if it is a significant issue up for discussion, write a letter and have the narcissist answer in writing or email as well.