I had one of those days today when it felt like life was delivering one kick in the teeth after another. We all have those days. When they happen, it's normal to go into a mode of fluctuating self-confidence and second guess all your life decisions.
3. Ask yourself: "Who I am comparing myself to?"
When something knocks your confidence about your decision-making, that mood drop often triggers social comparison. When this happens for me, I find myself comparing myself to people who've made outstanding accomplishments (like these people who bought a run down warehouse for a bargain and rehabbed it, increasing it's value to the point they have several hundred thousand dollars of equity in it.) I think "Why aren't I doing things like that?" However, if I'm more reasonable in my social comparison, I can see that I'm doing pretty well. Again, I'm not an absolute rockstar, but most of my decisions are still good ones and I've got plenty of accomplishments. Everyone can achieve outstanding accomplishments eventually, but these tend to be few and far between, even for high achievers, and they're interspersed with mistakes and mediocre results.
Common objects of social comparison include siblings, Facebook friends, classmates, and people you read about or watch online. Sometimes I compare myself to people younger than me and think "I should be doing better than I am at my age." I know it can come across a bit disingenuous and irritating when accomplished people talk about experiencing low self-esteem moments. However, it just goes to show that behind the scenes even successful people are still making plenty of life mistakes and have patterns of self-sabotaging behavior that frustrate them. Life is messy for everyone.