Number 3: You Are Angry, Disjointed and Are Behaving In Ways That You Normally Don’t
I believe a good indication that you are being narcissistically abused is seeing the discrepancy with how you feel with this person in relation to your everyday dealings with other people.
If you know that you have integrity, can listen, have empathy, are capable of having sane conversations and get along with most people in your life, and yet there is ‘this’ person who brings out the worst in you – this is generally because your boundaries are being violated and the normal modes of human operations don’t stand.
The circular arguments you are having make your head spin, because they go around and around on unrelated tangents – points that make no sense. Narcissists use these tactics when confronted, or they argue with you to manipulate you into something unwholesome:
- make excuses for their behavior.
- minimize an incident altogether.
- accuse someone else of wrongdoing.
- confuse you with antics or trivia to take you off the subject.
- use allies, real or fabricated, to back up their argument.
- use ‘tit for tat’ behaviors relating to something you did in the past.
- state how disloyal your accusations of them are.
- discredit your observations, owing to your ‘unstable’ past.
The Truth About This
Please get VERY clear about this – when you are enmeshed with a sick person, you get sick.
If you are experiencing these type of instances in your relationship, it is time to pull away, get away and heal. You may not realize it, but what you are doing is granting what this person wants – the drama and significance of knowing they can hook you in and affect you so much. It’s called narcissistic supply. You need to cut this off to have any chance of getting your soul and life back.