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LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 8

5/31/2018

Sticking to a budget
"It's amazing how many people can't do the simplest of things — like balance a checkbook, fill out a tax form, make sure that there's more coming in than going out, [set] aside reserves for contingencies," writes Miles Fidelman.
Let's start with "mak[ing] sure that there's more coming in than going out," which is essentially about adhering to a budget. We rounded up the best budgeting tips from readers who have shared their budgets with Business Insider.
For example, you'll want to anticipate any major costs in the near future — like if you're planning to have a kid or go back to school. It's also wise to set aside an emergency fund with several months' worth of expenses in case the unexpected occurs.

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 7

5/30/2018

Speaking a second language
Learning a second language "opens up the mind to an entirely new way of thinking," says Noe Villela. You'll notice and appreciate parts of the world you never before experienced.
It's also possible that learning a new language can make you smarter — though the jury is still out on this issue. Some studies have found that being bilingual can improve cognitive skills, but more recent research disputes these findings.
One of the best ways to learn a new language is through immersion. Get started with this free online tool that replicates the immersion experience.

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 6

5/29/2018

Making friends in any environment
Mayeesha Tahsin says that she thinks of forming relationships as a skill, as opposed to leaving things to chance.
That skill is especially important to develop during young adulthood, once you're off the college campus, where it's generally easy to forge close friends.
One way to make friends as a grown-up is to trade confidences. Research suggests that "self disclosure" predicts liking, closeness, and relationship-building. Another, surprisingly simple, tactic is to simply spend more time with the people you'd like to befriend. According to the "mere exposure effect," we tend to like things and people we're familiar with.
Mending your clothes
A button popped off your shirt at work? There's no need to panic if you're handy with a needle — which you should be.
"Learn how to stitch that button to your shirt collar or sew back the tear on your sleeve from the edge of the table," writes Zehra Alvi. "You will save a lot of money by just knowing how to handle that two-centimeter sword."

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 5

5/28/2018

Communicating through body language
"Sometimes your body language tells people everything they need to know before you ever open your mouth," writes Dean Bokhari.

Experts have highlighted specific body-language techniques that can make you more likable. For example, don't break eye contact with your conversation partner, even after they've finished speaking. And make sure not to fidget or touch your face too much, which can give the impression that you're lying or anxious.

You can also read other people's body language to help figure out what they're thinking and feeling. For example, if they mirror your body language, the conversation is probably going well. If they smile but there are no crinkles around their eyes, they might be faking it.

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 4

5/26/2018

Saying 'no' respectfully and politely
Many of us fear the word "no" because we don't want to let other people down. But when you're already swamped and your coworker asks you to take an hour to help him with his project report, "Yes, of course" might not be the best answer.
"It might sound a cliché, but saying NO when needed can save you lot of time, confusion, guilt, attachment, commitments, stress and other social evils," writes Yogi Raj.
There's another Quora thread dedicated to learning how to say "no," where Eva Glasrud writes, "we routinely overestimate the cost of saying 'no.'"
According to Glasrud, the best way to muster up the confidence to turn down a request is to recognize that there "are some things you can never have back. Your time, your health, your virtue, your life. Don't mess around with those things. It's fine for people to ask — most likely, in their mind, they're trying to help introduce you to a great person or opportunity or meaningful cause. And it's just as fine for you to say 'no.'"
Empathizing with others
A number of Quora users mentioned the importance of learning to empathize with other people — to listen to them and try to see things from their perspective.
Psychologists say that empathy is a fundamental part of human interaction. In fact, people who lack the ability to empathize and take an interest in other people are often narcissists.

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 3

5/25/2018

Managing your time wisely
There will probably never be a time in your life when you aren't juggling multiple personal and professional priorities. Time-management skills are a must, unless you want to feel constantly frazzled.
Perhaps the most important time-management lesson is that you should stick with one task at a time. Research suggests that multitasking is generally counterproductive because the brain expends energy as it readjusts its focus from one activity to another.
You'd be wise, too, to limit the hours you spend working. Decades ago, Henry Ford discovered that productivity started to decline after employees logged more than 40 hours per week. Other research suggests that, after three weeks, 60-hour workweeks become less productive.

Using keyboard shortcuts
"Since most of the work we do nowadays involves computers," says Arpit Jain, "using keyboard shortcuts definitely gives you an edge and saves you a lot of time."Jain posted a list of some of the handiest shortcuts in her Quora answer. For example, simultaneously pressing the "Alt" and "F4" keys when using Microsoft Windows lets you close a selected item or program. Keep the list somewhere close to your computer at work to supercharge your productivity.

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 2

5/24/2018

Apologizing sincerely
To err is human, but to craft a believable apology isn't a universal skill.
The apology "needs to be sincere, not qualified, not quantified, and also needs [to] outline how X will not happen again," Keyani says.
According to one CEO, there's a six-step strategy for successfully saying you're sorry:
1. Act quickly.
2. Apologize in person.
3. Explain what happened.
4. Show how you are going to avoid the problem in the future.
5. Apologize.
6. Make restitution.
Keyani gives an example of what you might say if you were tardy for an appointment:
I'm sorry I was late for the meeting. It must have been frustrating because you spent a lot of time preparing and got up early. I did a poor job accounting for traffic and didn't give myself enough buffer. That is my bad and I'm going to give myself an extra 10 minutes instead of five moving forward.

LIFE SKILLS TO MASTER - PART 1

5/23/2018

Life is funny.
No one gets a handbook upon turning 18, complete with all the rules they'll need to memorize and competencies they'll need to acquire.
Somehow you're just supposed to know that you should have more money coming in than going out and you shouldn't wear a fuzzy orange sweater to a job interview.
Fortunately, we've put together our own handbook of sorts, which lists many of the skills you'll need to survive as an adult in the modern world. It's based on the Quora thread "What are some of the most useful skills to know?" as well as scientific research and expert opinion.
1. Accepting feedback gracefully
"For most of us it is hard to hear how we made a mistake or could have done something better," writes Quora user Pedram Keyani. "An amazing skill (which you can learn through practice) is to set aside your emotional response in the moment and focus on the information presented to you. Some of it will be valid and some of it invalid but let your brain decide that, not your ego."
Depending on what kind of feedback you're receiving, there are different strategies for responding with a cool head. For example, if your boss points out what she thinks is an error and you're not sure she's correct, you can say, "I hadn't thought of that, and I'm going to look into it right away."

https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/31-life-skills-every-functioning-adult-should-master-a6991966.html

HOW FORGIVENESS CAN BE HELPFUL

5/22/2018

How Forgiveness Can Be Helpful

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group is confidential and private and gives you access to group sessions every single day. You’ll get to know all of the coaches that way. Then, if you want to schedule individual sessions as needed on specific topics with specific coaches, then you can do that through individual sessions.
With Mother’s Day, my guess is it was it may be really difficult for some of you this weekend. My heart goes out to you. Just know that I love you and I care about you, and I’m so, so sorry that you’re going through this very difficult time.
There are moments, still, where I lose hope. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night, and I couldn’t go to sleep, because I thought, “What is going to happen? How am I going to do this? I never wanted to be a single mom. I didn’t sign up to be a single mom. This is not the life that I wanted.” When I woke up this morning, I felt a little bit better.
There’s just so many stages of recovering from this. I think I’m doing better, and then I take a step back.

https://www.btr.org/forgiveness-leads-to-boundaries/

WHY IS FORGIVENESS IMPORTANT?

5/21/2018

WHY IS FORGIVENESS IMPORTANT? Can you move forward without it?
Why Is Forgiveness Important?This is an interesting way to think about forgiveness. The clergy calls you in, and you’re talking to them, and they say, “This is an issue of forgiveness,” you could bring this up, and say, “True forgiveness means that I’ve wiped the slate clean, and I don’t think he owes me anything. So, I’m going to now set a boundary that says, ‘ I’m letting you go. You don’t owe me anything. I wish you luck in your choices. I wish you luck in your life. Goodbye, and I will freely forgive you, now that I can set these boundaries to be safe from you.’”
I’m just mulling it over in my head. I’m not 100 percent sure about it yet. If you guys own a copy of Boundaries, you can look at that section on page 140. Explore your own thoughts on this issue.

https://www.btr.org/forgiveness-leads-to-boundaries/