If you've ever had a friend that seemed to take more from the friendship than give, you can relate to the term "selfish friend." A selfish friend is one that has made things all about them most of the time, which means you spend time, attention, energy, and probably, money, on their needs.
How Can You Tell If Your Friend Is Selfish?
Selfishness isn't always an obvious thing to spot in a friend. At first, this person might seem like they are very interested in you. Perhaps they ask you questions but before you can really answer they talk about their own life instead. Or maybe they go out of their way to ask how you are, but then turn the conversation to something they need right now instead.
It's nearly impossible to determine the selfishness in a friend until you've known them for a while and have seen them in a variety of situations. After all, we've all got our quirks and we can all be selfish at times.
Friendship, like any relationship, isn't always an equal division in who "takes." To be labeled a selfish friend, someone that embodies that term wholly means that the times when they put someone else before themselves are rare. In other words, they take much more of the time and give much less of the time.
Why Are You Friends?
There might be times when you question your friend's loyalty or attitude. The most common question people ask themselves when they realize their friend is selfish is: "Why am I friends with this person?" After all, no one likes to feel that they are being taken advantage of.
Don't be too hard on yourself. In order to be friends with a variety of people, you're going to come in contact with people who are selfish. It's a fact of life that you'll deal with selfishness at some point.
Here are some reasons you might have chosen to stay friends with a selfish friend:
- You enjoy their personality.
- You have other supportive friends that give you the emotional lift you need.
- You feel that your selfish friend is irritating but harmless.
- You think your friend will change.
- Your friend is the only one who will join you for a favorite activity, like biking, going to the ballet, action movies, author appearances, etc. In other words, your friendship is based on this activity and lacks the emotional connection that you have with other people.