Sadly some women experience this outside of their relationship, by other members of their religious communities. Many are thrown into a spiritual and existential crisis as they grapple to understand what has just happened to their life, who they actually committed to and the knock on effects of who that makes them in this relationship, nay, ALL relationships. They are prone to question God’s presence in all this and can feel as betrayed by God as by their partner. Add to that some of the well meaning but misguided advice of some professionals and ‘lay-helpers’ and you have a recipe for compounded trauma, confusion and terror for the partner.
There is also the issue of the circumstances surrounding the discovery/disclosure of the issue. Most often this happens by discovery, the addicted partner is ‘found out’ by some means or another. In the most dramatic of cases this can be after an arrest for illegal behavior which of course creates a significant crisis. Looks messy, doesn’t it! Tell me again how I’m supposed to tell this broken woman that she created this?!
So, clearly this is a very complex issue with a whole load of possible nuances, symptoms and responses. When written out like this, it is not hard to see why this condition is often misunderstood and misdiagnosed. A single, ‘cookie cutter’ approach to healing will never work for this diverse group of women, each bringing their unique selves to this experience. That is why you should expect an approach uniquely tailored to you.