Why the Narcissist Wants to Punish You
According to the narcissist, you are now a devalued, awful and horrible human being. This perception is regardless of whether you have left them or they have thrown you away (because you are too hard to extract supply from now, there is no more to take from you, or a more abundant source has turned up).
To a standard narcissist, life is either ‘black’ or ‘white’. You are either wonderful (supplying brilliant, idealized narcissistic supply), or you are a piece of dirt (you serve no purpose to them anymore) who needs to be discarded and treated like a piece of dirt.
(Some narcissists may be able to apply some shades of grey – but not many.)
It will be likely that you are classified and treated by the narcissist as a piece of dirt – and it doesn’t even matter whether you have had a life, family or allegiances with this person for the last 30 years or just months.
Narcissists will usually go after the money, property, businesses, pets and even the children. They know that the things and Beings that matter to you is where they can hurt you the most.
However, because narcissists have a disastrously unstable inner identity, all this nasty behavior can change. Abhorring you can switch to adoring you on the turn of a dime.
This change often happens when the narcissist is low on narcissistic supply. But also it can happen when he or she has conjured up some sort of agenda to suck you back in to get your trust, before extracting something more from you and then pulling the rug out for under you again. This is known as hoovering, and it is a common and very serious threat when splitting up with a narcissist.
Of course, if you fall for it, as many of us have, you will only be brutalized further.
Switching the Truth of the Ending
Narcissists are great at conjuring their version of reality. If you leave a narcissist, they will tell you they were going to break up with you anyway. And to preserve their ego, they will tell other people they left you – that is unless there is wonderful narcissistic supply for them to glean as a result of telling people how horribly you left them. Generally, however, it is only the more covert-victim-type narcissist who plays this out.