Easy Cinnamon Ornaments {Only 2 Ingredients!}

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Easy Homemade Cinnamon Ornaments

This is one of those kid craft ideas that really is as fun and easy as it seems! They do take a while to bake, so plan to make them one day and decorate them the next.

Or leave them plain! The pretty cinnamon color doesn’t really need embellishing…but if your kids are anything like mine they’ll be anxious to go to town with the glitter glue.

Cinnamon Ornament Supplies

You’ll need equal parts cinnamon and applesauce for these ornaments. I used about 1 and 1/4 cup of each and we made 18 ornaments using standard size cookie cutters. When you’re buying cinnamon, look for larger containers of the cheap generic brands – no need to pay more for the name brand. If you happen to live near a WINCO you can get cinnamon in bulk extremely inexpensively. Generic applesauce works great as well!

VIDEO

Here’s a quick video that shows the whole process, and written instructions follow:

Recipe source: McCormick

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FOR THE HOLIDAYS - DIY Candy Cane Centerpiece

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If you’re looking for a simple Christmas craft project, today’s idea is for you! This simple DIY centerpiece will look great on your holiday table, and would be a cute gift for a friend. Making it is a cinch: you cover the outside of an empty can with candy canes. You’ll use a rubber band to help hold the candy canes in place as well as a bit of hot glue to secure them. Add some ribbon once you’re done, then fill the can with pretty seasonal florals. Easy!

Supplies

This is what you’ll need to make a candy cane vase:

  • Empty Can: I used a 29 oz can of tomato sauce that I opened with a safety can opener that doesn’t leave any sharp edges. If you don’t have a safety can opener, you may want to use a glass or plastic jar or vase instead of a can. Just make sure whatever vessel you choose to use is a bit shorter than a candy cane.
  • Candy Canes: I used about 40 candy canes. I bought them in packages of 12 for $1 each at Walmart.
  • Rubber Band: This helps hold the candy canes around the can so you don’t have to glue every single one.
  • Hot Glue Gun: Even with a rubber band, the candy canes need some stabilizing, so you’ll want a glue gun,
  • Ribbon: I used red ribbon that was wide enough to easily cover the rubber band.

 

Once you’ve created the candy cane “vase” you’ll fill it with flowers or greenery to complete your centerpiece. You could use fresh flowers if you wish; just try not to get water on the candy canes. (If water gets inside the wrappers the candy canes will get ruined.) I found it was easier to use faux greenery. I placed a couple small blocks of floral foam inside the can, then used Christmas floral picks from the craft store to fill in the centerpiece.

 

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How a Narcissist Mirrors the Grinch

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If one is not familiar with the book and movie, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, the Grinch is a green, revenge-seeking creature, who is out to spoil the holidays for an entire city. The original manuscript was written by Dr. Seuss, with a movie following in 2000 with Jim Carey in character as the Grinch.

Dr. Seuss described the Grinch as one, “To wear his shoes too tight while his head isn’t screwed on right. But most of all, his heart is two sizes too small.”

The Grinch lives on the top of a mountain all year, angry and isolated. The story takes a turn when a little girl named Cindy Lou-Who of Whoville decides she will venture to the Grinch’s home and convince him to give back the gifts and good cheer he has stolen. At first, the Grinch says no, but after Cindy does some serious persuading, his heart grows three sizes, and he returns to rescue the town of Whoville from a holiday disaster.

Although this story has a fairy tale ending, real-life doesn’t always present a happily-ever-after. Because, when Grinch-like people, such as narcissists set out to ruin the holidays, they are often successful.

There are parallels between the Grinch and narcissists.

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Who Is Your Safe Person? PART TWO

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CONTINUED. . .. 

4. They apologize but don’t change their behavior.

Unsafe people are skilled manipulators when it comes to apologies. First, they may offer an insincere apology such as, “I’m sorry I did that, but you push my buttons.” They’ve turned the tables to make it your fault!

Also, unsafe people avoid working on their problems. It takes a lot of effort to heal or change, and it’s easier to point the finger at someone else.

Safe people offer genuine apologies, such as, “I am sorry I hurt you by being late. Will you forgive me?” Then they do their best not to let it happen again.

5. They are emotionally distant (you feel alone).

Unsafe people leave you feeling alone even when they are next to you. That’s because they are emotionally unavailable. Being in a relationship is existing together on certain emotional wavelengths. Research at Northwestern University and UC Berkley has shown that couples who experience dynamic convergence are more likely to succeed at marriage.

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Who Is Your Safe Person? PART ONE

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Unfortunately, I attended a funeral this week in my hometown for a good friend’s husband. Maribeth has been like a mother to me since my childhood. She’s almost 80 now, and her knowledge of navigating life’s challenging situations has been priceless. For example, she has given me advice about studying in college, navigating marriage, and helping care for aging parents. I remember asking her the hard questions when I was contemplating divorcing Shane, a narcissist. One afternoon, I asked her if she felt like John, her husband, would consistently protect her and not harm her.

“I have never had to watch my back with John,” Maribeth answered. “We may have issues, but he is safe for me.”

I began thinking about the differences between safe people and unsafe people. In the following paragraphs, I discuss the traits of people who are not safe for you to pursue a relationship with, whether a friend, colleague or partner. Of course, no one is perfect, but for the most part, these people cause harm and pose a threat to your emotional and sometimes physical well-being. Unfortunately, and understandably, many of these traits belong to narcissists.

1. You must watch your back with them.

With an unsafe person, you are constantly looking over your shoulder. Their mission is to do what it takes to get what they need. Narcissists demand their supply, which is often attention, admiration, sex, money, and control. They’ll fight, manipulate, and steal to get it. Many narcissists enjoy hurting people unless being protective serves them in some capacity.

Safe people are those who want the best for you. Often these are the people who make you a better person by just being around them. If you ask safe people for advice, they give guidance with love.

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10 Rules for Surviving Life with a Narcissist PART FIVE

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CONTINUE. . .

9. Try not to take a narcissist’s rejections personally.

When narcissists become insulting, rejecting, blaming, and disdainful, it is only natural for you to feel greatly offended and hurt. They want to bring you down, and their tactics sting. In those moments, it can be natural to ask: “Why are you doing this to me?” If the rejecting narcissist were totally honest, the answer would be: “Because that’s what I do. It’s my nature to demean. I need you to be less than me.”

Narcissists are not that honest nor are they that self-aware. Even when they are outrageously inappropriate, they are anchored in tight self-protective rationalizations about their superiority. And they genuinely believe everyone else is unenlightened. Their need to maintain a controlling edge guarantees they will find ways to reject you when clashes occur. In their minds, they decide what is right and what is wrong, and you stand no chance to convince them otherwise.

So when (not if, but when) they reject you, remember that you are merely a player on their stage. The script is already written, and you will lose. And even if you were never in the narcissist’s life, that person would still be rejecting. The fact that they cannot stop themselves indicates how they operate with irreversible internal patterns in place. They are trapped by their own addictive need to condescend. It’s not about you.

10. Plan in advance how you will manage your exchanges with the narcissist.

Clearly, the less contact you can have with a narcissist, the better. Narcissists are destined to be relationally deficient. But in the event that you must engage with them, anticipate in advance how you will conduct yourself.

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10 Rules for Surviving Life with a Narcissist PART FOUR

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CONTINUED. . . 

7. Make room psychologically for “jerk” behavior.

Think about the many times in your interactions with a narcissist you have thought: “This person is being such a jerk!” And you are probably correct! Narcissists can be impossibly boorish and condescending in their mannerisms with you. Their raw egotism and inflated entitlement makes them ridiculously difficult to reason with, and you know the trend will not end. It is hardwired into their DNA.

You can make matters worse when you say something to the effect: “I want you to examine yourself and stop being so absurd!” Not once will a narcissist say: “Good point.” Not once.

That being your truth, accept the reality of the narcissist’s “jerkiness.” This does not mean you condone it, nor does it preclude setting boundaries. But it does mean that you realize that alligators will always be alligators, and narcissists will always be narcissists.

8. Don’t plead for or expect apologies.

As a normal person, when you err or miscalculate, you are willing to set the record straight. Healthy people own their blunders and make restitution. They apologize and make matters right.

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10 Rules for Surviving Life with a Narcissist PART THREE

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CONTINUED. . . .

4. Don’t expect narcissists to uphold their end of a true relationship.

The more exposure you have to narcissists, the more you realize they are not interested in relationships. Connection, affirmation, goodness, and helpfulness are not their concern. They may give brief impressions that they are interested in developing heart bonds with you, but time and experience proves they are simply users seeking narcissistic supply. In other words, to them you exist to give them what they want. And that is not an indicator of being relational.

To a narcissist, you are a transaction, a means to an end. As long as narcissists believe they can get what they want, they will maintain associations (note: associations, not relationships) with others. But once a person becomes bothersome or no longer useful, narcissists will reject you. At that point, they will either increase demanding pressures, or they will discard you in favor of someone they find more willing to feed their needs.

Know that this person can only be someone you share activities or conversations with, but not one who has any desire or capacity to relate at the heart level.

5. Don’t become pulled in by their power plays.

As you know individuals over a long period of time, differences and disagreements emerge. Not only is that not something to dread, it allows the participants to delve more deeply into ways to of showing understanding toward each other.

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10 Rules for Surviving Life with a Narcissist PART TWO

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continued. . . .

So with that in mind, let’s look at ten rules (or watch Dr. C’s video) to guide your interactions with a narcissist:

1. Do not ascribe normalcy to the narcissist.

If you are a normal person seeking normal goals, hoping for normal relationship outcomes, it is only natural to want (or even expect) the other person to reciprocate. You can live with the simple philosophy, “I’ll scratch your back, and you scratch my back.” Normal people operate with the presumption that simple courtesy and decency are not that difficult, nor do they require strenuous effort.

Narcissists, however, are not normal, at least in their relationship goals. In short spurts they can appear friendly and cooperative, but it does not take long for their true colors to show. Wanting to stay in the control seat, they are manipulators looking for the next chance to get what they want from you. To them, you are part of their supply chain, and they expect you to defer and acquiesce. Reciprocity is not part of their game plan.

So drop the illusion that they will join you in your healthy pursuits. They are limited in their people skills, and any efforts from you to help them grow will turn into an opportunity for them to squash you.

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10 Rules for Surviving Life with a Narcissist PART ONE

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When you are a healthy person relating with another healthy person, the rules of engagement are simple and straightforward:

  • I’ll show you respect just as I know you will in reverse.
  • I’ll listen to you, and I know you’ll do the same.
  • You can help me, and I can help you.
  • Let’s remember to be an encouraging presence to each other.
  • I’ll tune into your feelings and respond accordingly, just as you will.
  • When we disagree, we can still communicate in an agreeable fashion.
  • As difficult circumstances arise, we will each have the other’s back.
  • Making plans will be done with the other’s needs and preferences in mind.
  • When we make mistakes or show insensitivity, we own it and adjust.
  • We’ll make no attempts to one-up each other since we operate as equals.

We could add more to this list, but you get the idea. Healthy relationships are guided by conscientiousness and a willingness to create a mutually gratifying experience. It takes concentration, but with maturation, this form of engagement is possible and quite rewarding.

But with a narcissist. . .

Narcissists are neither healthy nor mature as they approach you in relationship. Keep in mind that these people are defined by the need for control. Specifically, this makes them prone to criticism, stubbornness, bullying, defensiveness, and arguing. They lack empathy, which means that affirmation from them is fleeting at best, and they do not anticipate how to blend with you because you are supposed to cater to them. They can be master manipulators, which means they carry a self-serving agenda, causing them to become exploitative and secretive. Attempts to manage conflict almost always end poorly, and you are blamed for the perpetual strain that exists.

Over time, the narcissist’s presence in your life can become toxic, bringing out the worst in you. Their mannerisms can prompt you to become argumentative, defensive, guarded, and tense. Your attempts to make the narcissist “see the light” will inevitably fall short since narcissists feel no need to listen, to accommodate you, or to blend with your unique inclinations.

Simply put, narcissists are not good candidates for long-term rewarding relationships…at all.

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The Narcissist Attitudes: 15 Condescending Attitudes - Part Two

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CONTINUED. . .

6. They will judge you readily.  They express disagreement while insinuating that you are not just wrong, but defective.

7. They can be quite uncomfortable around people who differ.  Rather than responding to different people with an open mind, they wish to be only with those who conform to their tastes or opinions.

8. They will blame others for their flaws or mistakes even when all evidence indicates otherwise. This is part of their need to be superior.

9. They strongly dislike to apologize, and when they do, it is shallow.  They cannot bear feeling subordinate.

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The Narcissist Attitudes: 15 Condescending Attitudes - Part One

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Often times when we are dealing with a narcissist, it is hard understand the narcissist’s attitudes. They are extremely condescending.

Here are the 15 Condescending Attitudes That Indicate Disdain Toward You:

1. They make low attempts to connect with you. The implication is: “You’re not worth the effort.”

2. They can be overly sensitive in their emotional reactions to you.  This implies, “My feelings are the only feelings that matters.  You shouldn’t feel differently from me.”

3. They have little regard to your emotions.  Since they are so enamored with the ways they feel, it stands to reason that they make no effort to know how you feel.  Their self absorption results in very low empathy.

4. They will over-interpret your emotions to make it all about them.  They might ask: “Why are you doing this to me?” or “What did I do to deserve this?”  This happens despite indications that your emotions are a separate matter.

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4 Reasons Narcissists Can’t and Don’t Want to Change - Part Two

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CONTINUED. . . . 

4 Reasons Narcissists Can’t and Don’t Want to Change

3. Most narcissists won’t take suggestions or guidance.

Lee Hammock, a diagnosed narcissist, said in our interview on Surviving Narcissism this week: don’t (ever) give a narcissist advice. They don’t think they need it, and they might do the opposite of what you say just to spite you. Also, remember that narcissists believe they are perfect and that there’s no reason to change.

That’s unfortunate because sometimes suggestions can help others. Such as “Your car is making a funny noise. You might want to get it checked out.” That may be protecting the entire family. Choose your words carefully when approaching a narcissist with a suggestion to help them and those around them. Perhaps, “The kids heard your car ‘talk.’ I am not sure what that means. Can you listen to it and see?”

4. They get what they need from you, so why change?

Many narcissists say they won’t change or alter their behaviors. Why should they? They get the supply they need as things are right now. They receive attention, admiration, and approval for what they are doing. They can do whatever they wish, no matter the casualties along the way. Very few people stand up to a narcissist because no one wants to see the rage if they don’t get their way. It sounds like an excellent way to live if you are a narcissist. The world revolves around them.

Again, Hammock had a good point in his interview this week. He suggested that narcissists must hit rock bottom to seek help. When Hammock’s wife left him and took the kids, it was then and only then that he sought out therapy.

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4 Reasons Narcissists Can’t and Don’t Want to Change

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Narcissists can’t and don’t want to change. Below are four reasons why this is so.

1. Narcissists don’t listen or communicate.

Most narcissists listen for one reason: to respond with vitriol or “to get you back.” They like to react. Communication is one-sided. They are listening for holes in your story or insinuations that they are wrong or bad. They want to blow off some steam on you, and they’ll react to the most benign words to do it.

Other times, the narcissist won’t allow you to insert one word into the conversation. As a result, they are always right, and you are wrong. Your views, opinions, beliefs, and values don’t matter to them, no matter how much to stand by your principles.

Sometimes they give you the silent treatment as a way of telling you that you don’t matter. It isn’t easy to communicate when you are the only person speaking or asking questions. That isn’t a conversation but a monologue!

You can try a few suggestions to start a dialogue. First, ask them to listen to you for a short amount of time. Set a timer. Then they can respond. Or, if it is a significant issue up for discussion, write a letter and have the narcissist answer in writing or email as well.

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Options for unplanned pregnancy

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No doubt all sorts of questions are swirling in your head as you consider your unplanned pregnancy. It’s okay to listen to the opinions of other people, but it’s you, not them who will have to live with results. Normally, the decisions we make are based on what is important to us. These articles will hopefully help you make a decision based on your values, beliefs, and circumstances in order to decide the best course. 

 

Keep & Parent

You don’t have to go it alone. There are many programs and resources to help you be a successful parent.

Child Adoption

It’s not “giving your baby away.” It’s giving the gift of family and love.

Abortion Guidance

You have the right to know. Let’s talk about your choice.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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Ovulation: Frequently Asked Questions - Part Two

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When are You Most Fertile?

During ovulation, an egg is only available to be fertilized for about 12-24 hours. But sperm can live in the body for 3-5 days after sex and the egg is available for one day, so your most fertile time is about 5-7 days.

Don’t You Ovulate on the 14th Day After Your Period?

This is a myth that many, including healthcare professionals, still believe. The “14th-day” thinking appears to come from either taking the average of when all women ovulate or from just dividing the 28-day cycle in half. This is not an accurate way to calculate ovulation because many women do NOT ovulate on the 14th day of their cycle.
The day of ovulation differs from woman to woman and can even be different from month to month for an individual woman. For a woman with a 28-day cycle, the window of ovulation is day 11 through day 21 of your cycle. Ovulation could occur on any one day during this window.

Can You Ovulate During Your Period?

Menstruation or a period is the bleeding that occurs when the endometrium is shed 12 to 16 days after ovulation. With this definition of a period, you cannot ovulate while on your period.

However, some women experience mid-cycle or ovulatory bleeding (bleeding that occurs around ovulation) and may mistake it for a period. This can happen to women with very irregular cycles coming once every 3 months or 2-3 times in one month. Mid-cycle bleeding can occur in women with regular cycles as well. They may experience what appears to be a period, but, in reality, this is most likely ovulatory bleeding. Ovulation can occur when you experience mid-cycle or ovulatory bleeding.

Keep in mind that while you cannot technically ovulate while on a period because sperm can live in the body for 3-5 days after sex, pregnancy could occur from intercourse that takes place during a period.

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Ovulation: Frequently Asked Questions - Part One

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What is Ovulation?

Ovulation is when a mature egg is released from the ovary, travels through the fallopian tube, and is ready to meet sperm and be fertilized. Approximately every month an egg matures within one of your ovaries. The lining of the uterus is thickened to prepare for the fertilized egg. If no conception occurs, the uterine lining, will shed during your period. Fairhaven Health is a corporate sponsor and they provide effective and affordable ovulation prediction tools.

What are the Signs of Ovulation?

  • Change in cervical fluid
  • Change in cervical position and cervical firmness
  • A brief twinge of pain or a dull ache that is felt on one side of the abdomen
  • Light spotting
  • Increase in sex drive
  • An elevated level of the luteinizing hormone which can be detected on an ovulation test
  • Basal body temperature chart that shows a consistent change
  • Breast tenderness
  • Abdominal bloating
  • A heightened sense of vision, smell, or taste.

Can You Ovulate More Than Once During a Cycle?

A woman should not ovulate more than once during each cycle. This is due to a careful balance of hormones and their levels – it takes just the right timing and release of hormones to bring on the release of a mature egg. Therefore, she cannot get pregnant more than once during a cycle. Remember, if you are not using a tracking method such as OPKs, basal body temperature, or cervical mucus, there is no guaranteed way to pin down the day you are ovulating. Many period tracking apps will give you your “day of ovulation,” but this is only an estimation of when it might happen. Thus, two days (or more) after the predicted ovulation day may not be a “safe” day to have sex to avoid pregnancy, since it’s possible that you have not actually ovulated yet.

Multiple ovulation is another phenomenon that can occur and is when two or more eggs are released in a single cycle. The eggs are released during one 24 hour period and are responsible for the birth of fraternal twins. It is believed that this may occur in as many as 5-10% of all cycles but does not result in that many twins due to a type of miscarriage referred to as the “vanishing twin phenomenon.”Ca

When Do You Ovulate After Your Period?

A woman’s monthly cycle is measured from the first day of her menstrual period until the first day of her next period. On average, a woman’s cycle is between 28-32 days, although some women may have much shorter or longer cycles.
Most women ovulate anywhere between Day 11 – Day 21 of their cycle, counting from the first day of their last period. This is your “fertile time” and when  sexual intercourse has the best chance of producing pregnancy. Ovulation can occur at any point during this window and may occur on a different day each month.

A combination of methods such as observing your cervical fluid, taking your basal body temperature daily, and tracking your periods can help you identify your time of ovulation. Try our ovulation calendar to get you started. A Fertility Kit or Monitor from our sponsor Fairhaven Health is a great way to pin point your fertile days.

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Pregnant? We can Help! Part Two

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CONTINUED. . . 

But What if You’re Not Pregnant What Else Could It Be? A missed or delayed period, the most commonly reported first sign of pregnancy, could also be caused by:

  • Pending menstruation
  • Excessive weight gain or loss
  • Fatigue or exhaustion
  • New workout regimen
  • Hormonal imbalance
  • Tension or stress
  • Change in birth control usage
  • Various illnesses
  • Breastfeeding

Nausea or morning sickness, the second most frequently cited symptom of pregnancy, might be explained by:

  • Food poisoning
  • Tension or stress
  • Anxiety
  • Change in hormonal birth control
  • Other stomach ailments

Tender or changing breasts, the third most noted pregnancy symptom, might be triggered by:

  • Hormonal imbalance
  • Change in hormonal birth control
  • Impending menstruation

Fatigue or tiredness can be brought on by:

  • Tension or stress
  • Exhaustion from working too hard
  • Depression or other mental health struggles
  • Common cold or flu
  • New workout regimen
  • Allergies or other ailments
  • Lack of sleep
  • Improper nutrition
  • Pending menstruation
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Pregnant? We can Help!

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Pregnancy or PMS?

Pregnancy symptoms differ from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and the only way to know for sure if you’re pregnant or not is to take a pregnancy test. A missed period is usually one of the first signs of pregnancy. Most at-home pregnancy tests recommend waiting until the first day of your missed period before taking a home pregnancy test. Our nurses and pregnancy educators find that when women test within a day or two of their missed periods they may get an inaccurate negative result. We recommend testing after being seven days late. This is because it’s considered normal to start your period anytime from seven days before to seven days after it’s due and still be within the “normal” time frame. Pregnancy tests work best when the pregnancy hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) has built up in your system. This usually happens around 11 – 12 days after ovulation. Most women get their period around 14 days after ovulation. Some Pregnancy Test Strips are highly sensitive so you can begin testing as early as four days before your missed period. Are you experiencing these early signs of pregnancy? As we said, the most significant pregnancy symptom is a missed period, but you could experience other early pregnancy symptoms within a week of conception:
  • Spotting or light bleeding: If pregnant, this symptom is usually associated with implantation bleeding and is considered one of the earliest signs of pregnancy. The embryo usually implants to the uterine between 6 to 12 days after conception. Some women will experience spotting as well as cramping. Other women don’t even notice implantation bleeding or cramping, so don’t worry if you are trying to get pregnant and don’t experience these symptoms; you could still be pregnant. When this implantation occurs, light bleeding or spotting is perfectly normal. This symptom is sometimes accompanied by light cramping.
  • Nausea or morning sickness: Nausea or morning sickness is the second most commonly reported first sign of pregnancy. Most expecting women experience nausea which typically shows up 2 to 8 weeks after conception. Nausea can be experienced with or without vomiting. Morning sickness can be experienced at any time of the day. It usually occurs during the first trimester and subsides after that for most women, but some will experience nausea throughout their pregnancy.
  • Swollen or tender breasts: The third most frequently cited pregnancy symptom is breast swelling or tenderness. Changes to the breasts can start as early as 1 to 2 weeks after conception.
  • Fatigue or Tiredness: As early as the first week after conception many women cite feeling tired as a sign of pregnancy.
Frequent Pregnancy Symptoms Also Include:
  • Backaches: Lower backaches are common. It can occur with the onset of pregnancy, but it’s usually experienced later as the pregnancy progresses, around pregnancy week 27 to week 34.
  • Headaches:  Experts believe the sudden rise of hormones and/or blood flow in your body leads can cause headaches. There is an approximate 50% increase in the volume of blood flowing during your pregnancy.
  • Frequent urination:  Don’t be surprised if between 6 to 8 weeks you feel like you have to pee more often. You’ll feel the need throughout your pregnancy as the growing baby and expanding uterus place more and more pressure on your bladder.
  • Food cravings or food aversions:  The food expecting women crave or seek to avoid varies and is quite sporadic. It is alright to allow yourself the freedom to pursue those cravings and avoid the things you don’t want as long as you are getting the nutrition you need for a healthy pregnancy. These cravings or aversions can occur early in pregnancy or anytime throughout your pregnancy.
  • Darkening of the Areolas: It’s normal if the areolas, area around your nipples will darken.
  • Mood Swings: Expecting mothers frequently experience mood swings. This is primarily caused by the hormonal changes that affect the neurotransmitters of the brain. Some may experience elevated highs and lows, and others alternate between states of happiness and depression or anxiety. Mood swings are normal; but, if you’re struggling with depression or extended periods of sadness, please contact your healthcare provider. Some women prefer to go directly to a counselor or mental health professional.
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The Trifecta That Makes You a Target for Narcissists

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Have you ever asked yourself, “Why does it feel like I always attract narcissists?” Many survivors say most partners or friends they grow to care about are narcissists. When we do attract healthy people or partners, we may find that we aren’t as intrigued by a wholesome relationship, or we label the relationship as “unexciting.” There is something about narcissist that draws narcissists and victims together.

I want to make a point here. We can’t control a narcissist, but we can change things within ourselves to stop the cycle. In my experience, there are three reasons we attract toxic people.

1.You suffered narcissistic abuse as a child.

Almost everyone is taught how life should be in their childhood. In a healthy family, the parents meet the needs of the children physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. In an unhealthy family, the roles are reversed. The child is expected to work hard to shine a light on the toxic parent and earn that parent’s love. Unfortunately, in some cases, both parents are narcissists!

When we reach adulthood, a toxic environment seems “normal” and healthy. It’s what we know. Many of us raised by harmful parents think love must be earned, not just given. We learn no one will love us unless we are pretty or handsome, intelligent, quiet, outgoing, successful, and more. The toxic parent dictates our beliefs, values, and worth. This mandate is brainwashing for many of us. Those voices of inadequacy play in our heads for a lifetime unless we do something about them. And it’s difficult to do the work to heal, so sometimes we don’t go to therapy or find coaching. A broken heart and soul lead to bad choices in partners, friendships, and jobs.

A good example of toxic parents comes from one of my clients. Megan is a 34-yer-old woman living at home with her parents because she is between restaurant jobs. Megan’s mom is a narcissist, and her father has become the “yes man” or doormat. Megan had her menstrual cycle a few days ago, and her parents turned off the water source to her room. She came home from work needing to shower, but her parents wanted to show her who is still in control.

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