CONTINUED FROM YESTERDAY. . .
So with that in mind, let’s look at ten rules to guide your interactions with a narcissist:
1. Do not ascribe normalcy to the narcissist.
If you are a normal person seeking normal goals, hoping for normal relationship outcomes, it is only natural to want (or even expect) the other person to reciprocate. You can live with the simple philosophy, “I’ll scratch your back, and you scratch my back.” Normal people operate with the presumption that simple courtesy and decency are not that difficult, nor do they require strenuous effort.
Narcissists, however, are not normal, at least in their relationship goals. In short spurts they can appear friendly and cooperative, but it does not take long for their true colors to show. Wanting to stay in the control seat, they are manipulators looking for the next chance to get what they want from you. To them, you are part of their supply chain, and they expect you to defer and acquiesce. Reciprocity is not part of their game plan.
So drop the illusion that they will join you in your healthy pursuits. They are limited in their people skills, and any efforts from you to help them grow will turn into an opportunity for them to squash you.